More effort than it warranted, most likely... Normally we would leave such tasks to the servants, but they are my sister's favorite, and we thought it may cheer her up one day when she had been quite crestfallen.
[He really is touched in his little gremlin heart about this... Family is so important!! Trying to figure out how to make cookies all on your own and taking a wholeass day to do it all for the sake of a sibling is peak "Souji appreciates this" hours.]
[Alphinaud saving them from becoming making-food-on-the-counter tiktokers... He'll grab some measuring tools when he's done with the ingredients, they're not about to make PREVENTABLE MISTAKES in this house.
This is very sad though, considering that they're dead and all and what that could very well mean for their hostages. Fortunately for both of them, though, Souji is aggressively ignoring those bleak possibilities!]
The two of you are close, I take it? That's a wonderful thing... I have an older sister myself, so I can understand.
[ They're not savages like tiktokers... But, erm. Yeah, Alphinaud isn't acknowledging the whole "what's happened to the hostages" thing. Not outwardly, anyway. ]
I would say so, aye. We have always been there to look out for each other, though I would say she has usually done a better job of it than I.
[TIKTOKERS AS THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL... That's so fair, though. Simply ignoring all of the terrible things that could be happening right under your nose is sometimes the only way to continue functioning like an even remotely passably normal creature!
In any case, there's a definite softness to his expression at that.]
That sounds like something a sibling would say. At least when they're in a good mood!
[Said in a lightly teasing lilt... AH, SIBLINGS. Though he's always had a good relationship with his own sister, he has Seen the sibling rivalries and bickering in the siblings around him.]
... I daresay she would accuse me of fussing too much, were she privy to our conversation... Alisaie is an unruly sort, but in spite of that, she has always had plenty of room in her heart for others.
[WHY DOES HE SAY THAT LIKE HE'S DISCOVERED SOMETHING HILARIOUS.]
It seems unruly people usually do have good and big hearts, though. They tend to bring quite a bit of good humor to the situations they're in, too, wouldn't you say?
Except the air of punkassery fades because he's gonna do it. He's gonna address that elephant in the room as he starts doing (mumbles vaguely about some other baking thing), his smile softening a little.]
...This must be very painful for you, then. Separation alone is already such a horrible thing.
[This is a rude elephant, man. Souji's quiet for a second, because as much as he tries not to think about all of the ways their situation could go south very quickly... Well. It's impossible to ignore it entirely.
He doesn't dwell for long though, ever, or he'll risk the whole emotional dam.]
...I understand. [TWO(???) VICTIMS JUST OUT HERE GOING 'I DIED AND I FEEL SO GUILTY ABOUT IT'.] Both of those things, that is. And it's so difficult, with what we have day-by-day to keep our attention.
[Feels a bit like spinning their wheels. While Souji is genuinely enjoying as many minutes as possible, as many experiences as possible - he does want to make progress, too. He wants to see the others get out with their loved ones.]
I wish that I could do more than say that we'll all do our best. I think the weight of having ended up in this situation at all will be a heavy one to bear, even if everything works out wonderfully, too.
... Yes. My apologies—I do not mean to burden you with my thoughts when you have plenty of your own, I'm certain. There is little to be done, other than pray.
[He shakes his head pretty quickly at that, earnest in his response.]
It isn't a burden at all. Even if there isn't much we can do just yet, taking what's in your head and putting it to words can help, I think. [A beat, and then:] Do you think it would help you, to speak what's on your mind? I would gladly listen.
Souji's hand pauses for a second, mid- measuring something out. It's just a barely-there blip, though. His smile falters for an even smaller and less significant slice of time.
There is a part of him that very nearly takes the out given and decides not to answer, but that would feel foolish after giving him the space to open up and talk. Souji doesn't like lying, either, as much of it as he does in different ways.]
...I wish that I could say I wouldn't, but I can't make such a claim honestly. I would much rather give my own life for the safety of those I hold dear, but if necessary, I would kill to ensure their safety.
[He has before, and he surely would again.]
In that sense, perhaps it's better that things worked out the way they did.
[Sometimes you just become a murderer because there are simply no better options! Life out there is rough...
At the very least, there's no judgment from Souji, considering there isn't any "small part" of him that regrets not being able to secure Kondo's life through any means necessary. If someone was like "hey! If I revive you right this moment will you kill someone to ensure Kondo's safety?" he'd be like "POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND I WILL STAB".]
It feels like it's a normal thing to think rather than terrible, though I understand where you're coming from... Still - if we weren't the sort of people who would do anything we could for those we love, I don't think we would be here in the first place.
[THEIR COERCED CONTRACT SIGNING... Anyway he's not a vengeance lad in any way, but he also can't help but point out:]
If anything, I think you are particularly entitled to such feelings, given you were used by someone else in order for them to protect their own precious person.
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sageguidance) wrote2022-06-27 03:24 pm
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[Calling out each item as he plonks them down on the counter one by one, along with some brown sugar.]
Goodness, you put quite a lot of effort into figuring this one out, didn't you? An all-day affair!
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[He really is touched in his little gremlin heart about this... Family is so important!! Trying to figure out how to make cookies all on your own and taking a wholeass day to do it all for the sake of a sibling is peak "Souji appreciates this" hours.]
Did she cheer up? I hope she did!
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[ He smiles fondly, and a little wistfully. ]
But I think she did. She seemed all right after...
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Is that the person on your door...?
[Because of course he's noticed... the double Alphinauds.]
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He pauses briefly at the question, though, a hint of surprise in his expression before returning to the task at hand. ]
Yes. That is Alisaie—my sister.
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This is very sad though, considering that they're dead and all and what that could very well mean for their hostages. Fortunately for both of them, though, Souji is aggressively ignoring those bleak possibilities!]
The two of you are close, I take it? That's a wonderful thing... I have an older sister myself, so I can understand.
[Sibling bonds!!]
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I would say so, aye. We have always been there to look out for each other, though I would say she has usually done a better job of it than I.
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In any case, there's a definite softness to his expression at that.]
That sounds like something a sibling would say. At least when they're in a good mood!
[Said in a lightly teasing lilt... AH, SIBLINGS. Though he's always had a good relationship with his own sister, he has Seen the sibling rivalries and bickering in the siblings around him.]
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Oh, no, I truly do mean it, good or bad mood.
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[He can say this, being a fussy sort himself.]
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... I daresay she would accuse me of fussing too much, were she privy to our conversation... Alisaie is an unruly sort, but in spite of that, she has always had plenty of room in her heart for others.
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[WHY DOES HE SAY THAT LIKE HE'S DISCOVERED SOMETHING HILARIOUS.]
It seems unruly people usually do have good and big hearts, though. They tend to bring quite a bit of good humor to the situations they're in, too, wouldn't you say?
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[ HE WILL NOT ADMIT TO THIS ]
She's... well, she would deny all that, of course. But... indeed, she did have a way of doing so, at times.
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Ah, she sounds a little bit like someone else I know, in that case...! It's a wonderful thing, to have people like that in your life.
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Aye. And it is... different, I feel, when you have a twin.
[ Gonna start mixing some of these ingredients together...! I'm pretending we've measured this all out already. ]
Naught else is the same.
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Except the air of punkassery fades because he's gonna do it. He's gonna address that elephant in the room as he starts doing (mumbles vaguely about some other baking thing), his smile softening a little.]
...This must be very painful for you, then. Separation alone is already such a horrible thing.
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... To speak true, I do not know if I could possibly begin to forgive myself. And I am terrified of what the future may hold.
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He doesn't dwell for long though, ever, or he'll risk the whole emotional dam.]
...I understand. [TWO(???) VICTIMS JUST OUT HERE GOING 'I DIED AND I FEEL SO GUILTY ABOUT IT'.] Both of those things, that is. And it's so difficult, with what we have day-by-day to keep our attention.
[Feels a bit like spinning their wheels. While Souji is genuinely enjoying as many minutes as possible, as many experiences as possible - he does want to make progress, too. He wants to see the others get out with their loved ones.]
I wish that I could do more than say that we'll all do our best. I think the weight of having ended up in this situation at all will be a heavy one to bear, even if everything works out wonderfully, too.
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It isn't a burden at all. Even if there isn't much we can do just yet, taking what's in your head and putting it to words can help, I think. [A beat, and then:] Do you think it would help you, to speak what's on your mind? I would gladly listen.
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You need not answer me if you do not wish, but...
Given the chance, would you have taken someone's life? If only to promise the safety of a loved one?
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Souji's hand pauses for a second, mid- measuring something out. It's just a barely-there blip, though. His smile falters for an even smaller and less significant slice of time.
There is a part of him that very nearly takes the out given and decides not to answer, but that would feel foolish after giving him the space to open up and talk. Souji doesn't like lying, either, as much of it as he does in different ways.]
...I wish that I could say I wouldn't, but I can't make such a claim honestly. I would much rather give my own life for the safety of those I hold dear, but if necessary, I would kill to ensure their safety.
[He has before, and he surely would again.]
In that sense, perhaps it's better that things worked out the way they did.
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It is terrible of me to think, but... a small part of me regrets that I had not. If I had to die at all, she at least deserves to live, instead of...
[ Well. Dying, too, simply because he failed. ]
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At the very least, there's no judgment from Souji, considering there isn't any "small part" of him that regrets not being able to secure Kondo's life through any means necessary. If someone was like "hey! If I revive you right this moment will you kill someone to ensure Kondo's safety?" he'd be like "POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND I WILL STAB".]
It feels like it's a normal thing to think rather than terrible, though I understand where you're coming from... Still - if we weren't the sort of people who would do anything we could for those we love, I don't think we would be here in the first place.
[THEIR COERCED CONTRACT SIGNING... Anyway he's not a vengeance lad in any way, but he also can't help but point out:]
If anything, I think you are particularly entitled to such feelings, given you were used by someone else in order for them to protect their own precious person.
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