sieg catchall

[sageguidance]

"catchall" it's for one thread he's dying tomorrow



edit: nvm jae is all mine now :)

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[ercnerd]

[The abrupt return to a relaxed body from a tense memory creates a sensation not unlike whiplash in Sieghart, who remains so silent and still that he almost forgets to breathe. Remembering is one thing; reliving is another. A moment passes without a response to Alphinaud before he takes in a shuddering breath, his vision blurred by tears that trickle down his face.

It's easy to get swept up by old memories made fresh—especially right now—but he mustn't forget that Alphinaud is here. Staring at the ground in front of him, Sieghart answers tonelessly:]

Those were . . . my brothers.

[Some hundred of them.]

[sageguidance]

[ The hurt and agony runs deep, but ultimately... it isn't his own. Alphinaud exhales a slow breath, as if easing himself after a bad dream, yet he looks up to see a considerably more shaken Sieghart.

(... Are those tears? Alphinaud never thought he'd see the sort from a man like him.)

Sieghart answers, and it belatedly occurs to Alphinaud what this is—a shared memory of past events. Ah... So this is happening again. ]

And they... [ He trails off, frowning. ] No—no, pray, forgive me. I should not have seen that.

[ercnerd]

[That seems to orient the last of his awareness. The ache passes, leaving something more nebulous in its wake. Sieghart straightens and reaches up to wipe his face; to flow like this, tears really are timeless.]

No. [He swallows, clearing his throat of the lump nestled there.] It's not your fault.

[If anything, a part of him is ashamed that he subjected Alphinaud to the experience.]

[sageguidance]

Well... no.

[ ... ]

But I shall apologize, regardless. Were it your decision to make, I imagine I would have no knowledge of these events.

[ercnerd]

[Sieghart stares at Alphinaud, expression slack. Were it his decision to make, he wouldn't have made the mistake that started it all in the first place. But that's too wishful, isn't it?

He lets that thought go, and the tension in his body with it. His shoulders hunch forward accordingly while his forearms rest against his thighs—casual as ever.]

You know what this means, don't you? If it happened with my memory, it's bound to happen with yours.

[sageguidance]

[ He's right. Alphinaud falls silent, briefly, before he responds. ]

Yes, it will—that I know from experience. I suppose I will need to brace myself to take what ever is to be exposed with grace.

[ercnerd]

[A wry smile teases Sieghart's lips in perhaps understanding.]

Should I keep my distance?

[sageguidance]

[ With a shake of his head: ]

No, you may stay. Though I have mine own mistakes and regrets, and have been witness to terrible things, the bad does not outweigh the good.

[ercnerd]

[His lips stretch into a fuller smile.]

That's a fine way to look at it. Then I'd like to see something good when it happens.