[Alphinaud is the first person Estinien thinks to contact after his ressurection. He imagines he'll have to make some kind of announcement, to let the Pleroma know he has not truly fallen, but he needs more time to pull himself together before going that far. He knows that Himeka or Abel would be willing to do it themselves, but he has little interest in letting others speak for him like he's some kind of invalid.
Even beyond that, though, one of the most difficult parts for him is having been brought so low in front of two of his closest friends. The need to reach out to Alphinaud in particular goes far beyond basic courtesy.
This means, when Estinien's presence chimes at Alphinaud's shard, it's with an inkling of a kind of bone-deep misery that he hasn't had cause to display in some time. There's no relief like there was in the wake of his possession by Nidhogg... after all, there is no true peace for him to look forward to.]
Alphinaud... my body has been restored... more or less. I shall return to Greentruth as I am able.
[ When Estinien's voice rings in his mind, the immediate shock following is palpable. It is, however, followed by a pause, and then finally Alphinaud himself: ]
Oh, gods—it was true all along. You—you are returned.
[ If Estinien is lacking in relief, Alphinaud more than makes it up for the both of them. ]
[At first it seems like that might be all he says, as cruel as that would be. He's realizing now that he doesn't really know how to engage with this right now. Still, his compassion for Alphinaud is enough to force his hand.]
...'Twas much like the experience of first being reborn in this world. Though significantly less comfortable. It seems that beast has left its mark on me.
[ On his end, one could almost feel the uncomfortable shift he makes. ]
I am... unsurprised to hear it has. [ hoooo boy ] Are you well? [ Actually—no, that's not the right question. ] Erm... that is to say, you shall recover in due time, yes? Painful process aside, you feel no other ill effects?
[It would be the opposite of Estinien's intent to make Alphinaud more anxious with this conversation, but, in his weakened state, he finds himself incapable of fully withholding the seething anger and sense of violation that lurks beneath his projected thoughts. It's the type of fury he'd hoped to have left behind him, but it seems that it was not to be.]
...I am weakened, but not incurably so.
[He quiets his background thoughts as best he can, lest he find himself fleeing from the conversation.]
My concern lies with the alterations it's made... and how its presence somehow lingered within my spirit even after my 'death'.
[ Truth be told, Alphinaud cannot judge; the act was horrifying and cowardly at best, and although he interfered with Himeka's raging fury, he too felt it. That night he hardly slept, and underneath the anxiousness that kept him awake was a bubbling anger.
He has enough of a grip not to act upon such feelings, though, and instead released those emotions into matters more productive. It's not that it's thoroughly gone, but the intensity of it has lessened.
But that aside. ]
Indeed. Unfortunately, I do not know any more now than I did on that day. [ ... ] I too now bear its mark—a fact that will surely bring no comfort to you, but whatever is in store for us, you will not be alone in.
[Fortunately, that information isn't a surprise to him. Even so, it sends another jolt of helpless frustration through his chest. Whatever this is, the ones he loves most have been pulled into it as well. All because Makoto decided to go for a cowardly kill.]
I saw that Himeka and Abel were touched by it as well. She... showed me what was said, after my senses had failed me. How it now believes you sworn to it, somehow.
[It doesn't sound like something he's willing to give into.]
[There's a stormy silence from Estinien's mental presence, crackling with tumultuous energies that would normally only be apparent in the form of a furrowed brow or a particularly long silence. This means of conversation is useful for all too telling, especially for a man that usually keeps his emotions to himself.]
And how will you right the wrongs of that day? This is what you promised, was it not?
[He's frustrated because he doesn't even know what this creature will expect for a promise like that. He's not sure that Alphinaud knows either.]
In my moment of desperation, I appear to have not chosen my words well.
[ And he is normally better than that. But even he cannot remain level headed after witnessing the death of a loved one, watching as the shard were nearly slipped away by a being unknown. If only he had known it would take his words very seriously, but you know what they say about hindsight. ]
[It's as he thought, then. Of course, having Alphinaud admit it takes a lot of the wind out of Estinien's sails. He's not surprised that Alphinaud would say whatever he felt he needed to say in that moment. He's not sure he would have expected it all to be taken so literally either.
His tone is a bit softer when he responds again.]
...That creature is mad. Mayhap it would be more foolish to think that anything will satisfy it at all, no matter how cleverly phrased.
Yet if there is a chance it would, I have, quite possibly, squandered that opportunity.
... But I cannot dwell on past mistakes for long. Though I have failed to convey my words in a way that could not be misconstrued, my intentions behind them are no less true. Mayhap it will understand such.
[There's a slow release of some tension, like the mental equivalent of a sigh.]
...Mayhap so.
[Not that he's overly comfortable with the intentions behind it, either. It places him at the center of multiple people's focus, when he would really rather just handle this himself. What could Alphinaud, or Abel for that matter, do?]
If not, I would sooner throw off whatever shackles it has placed upon us.
I've spoken to her a handful of times. If she isn't preoccupied with other matters she seems willing to answer whatever questions we may have. With a being of this power... 'twould be odd for her to know nothing of it. A clue in of itself.
I am inclined to agree. Very well, then—I shall aim to wrap up my business here and begin my journey back to Greentruth. Should I be able to locate her, asking such questions will be my utmost priority.
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sageguidance) wrote2022-05-01 10:35 pm
after Estinien is alive again:
Even beyond that, though, one of the most difficult parts for him is having been brought so low in front of two of his closest friends. The need to reach out to Alphinaud in particular goes far beyond basic courtesy.
This means, when Estinien's presence chimes at Alphinaud's shard, it's with an inkling of a kind of bone-deep misery that he hasn't had cause to display in some time. There's no relief like there was in the wake of his possession by Nidhogg... after all, there is no true peace for him to look forward to.]
Alphinaud... my body has been restored... more or less. I shall return to Greentruth as I am able.
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Oh, gods—it was true all along. You—you are returned.
[ If Estinien is lacking in relief, Alphinaud more than makes it up for the both of them. ]
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[At first it seems like that might be all he says, as cruel as that would be. He's realizing now that he doesn't really know how to engage with this right now. Still, his compassion for Alphinaud is enough to force his hand.]
...'Twas much like the experience of first being reborn in this world. Though significantly less comfortable. It seems that beast has left its mark on me.
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I am... unsurprised to hear it has. [ hoooo boy ] Are you well? [ Actually—no, that's not the right question. ] Erm... that is to say, you shall recover in due time, yes? Painful process aside, you feel no other ill effects?
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...I am weakened, but not incurably so.
[He quiets his background thoughts as best he can, lest he find himself fleeing from the conversation.]
My concern lies with the alterations it's made... and how its presence somehow lingered within my spirit even after my 'death'.
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He has enough of a grip not to act upon such feelings, though, and instead released those emotions into matters more productive. It's not that it's thoroughly gone, but the intensity of it has lessened.
But that aside. ]
Indeed. Unfortunately, I do not know any more now than I did on that day. [ ... ] I too now bear its mark—a fact that will surely bring no comfort to you, but whatever is in store for us, you will not be alone in.
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I saw that Himeka and Abel were touched by it as well. She... showed me what was said, after my senses had failed me. How it now believes you sworn to it, somehow.
[It doesn't sound like something he's willing to give into.]
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But they are not promises I made lightly. If keeping my word is what it wishes, then that is what I shall do.
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And how will you right the wrongs of that day? This is what you promised, was it not?
[He's frustrated because he doesn't even know what this creature will expect for a promise like that. He's not sure that Alphinaud knows either.]
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In my moment of desperation, I appear to have not chosen my words well.
[ And he is normally better than that. But even he cannot remain level headed after witnessing the death of a loved one, watching as the shard were nearly slipped away by a being unknown. If only he had known it would take his words very seriously, but you know what they say about hindsight. ]
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His tone is a bit softer when he responds again.]
...That creature is mad. Mayhap it would be more foolish to think that anything will satisfy it at all, no matter how cleverly phrased.
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... But I cannot dwell on past mistakes for long. Though I have failed to convey my words in a way that could not be misconstrued, my intentions behind them are no less true. Mayhap it will understand such.
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...Mayhap so.
[Not that he's overly comfortable with the intentions behind it, either. It places him at the center of multiple people's focus, when he would really rather just handle this himself. What could Alphinaud, or Abel for that matter, do?]
If not, I would sooner throw off whatever shackles it has placed upon us.
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Aye. Fare you well, Alphinaud.
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