sageguidance | brandishes a knife

[ HE PRESSES THAT AGAINST HIS FACE SO FAST ]

Gods— Apologies. My eyes suddenly seem to—burn?

[A PAUSE AND A BEAT OF SILENCE as he realizes that he did indeed forget to warn this poor dude who has never chopped vegetables before that onions are satan.]

Oh, dear... Here, here - come away from that. [MOTIONING HIM FROM THE ONION.] Let me see your face.

[ He pulls the towel away but his eyes are soooo watery... nor can he keep them open ]

What happened?

[ WHY IS PAIN ]

[SWEET ALPHINAUD YOUR EYEBALLS... Souji will move over to the sink so he can wet a fresh washcloth with cool water, wringing it out before placing it into Alphinaud's hand.]

Place this over your eyes and keep them closed. Tilt your head upward for a bit... It won't last for long! I forgot to warn you that onions can make you cry.

What?

[ He complies, pressing the towel against his face, but he sounds completely bewildered. ]

How does a vegetable make you cry?

...You know, I'm not actually sure? [DOES HE LOOK LIKE A SCIENCE GUY. He reaches out to gently pat sweet Alphinaud's shoulders.] But chopping them certainly does.

Eurgh...

[ his eyes :'( ]

... Then I hope I've prepared a sufficient amount. I do not believe I can go any further with them...

[HIS EYEBALLS!!! Souji gives his shoulders a last pat, laughing sheepishly...]

Yes, yes! It's more than enough! ...And if it isn't, then I can cover for the rest. [He's done so much cooking that onions no longer affect him. His eyes never skip leg day.] Thank you for the help, Al-kun.

O- of course. Give me but a moment...

... The other vegetables will not do the same, yes? Or if there is aught else I may assist with...

Take your time! The other vegetables won't do the same thing, yes - it's only onions, really. And peppers, of course, but that's a bit different.

[He would remember to warn Alphinaud not to touch his eyes after handling peppers...]

[ that's a shame ]

Peppers, I know, are at the very least spicy.

[ while he's rubbing at his eyes ]

[HELP]

Mm - some are so spicy that even touching just a single seed and wiping at your eye afterward can make it turn red and water.

[ALPHINAUD YOUR DELICATE EYEBALLS.]

[ THEY'RE NORMAL NOT DELICATE ]

How anyone can stand eating such things in the first place, I do not know.

[He continues to be the normal elf.]

Peppers? Oh, my... Are you not a fan of spicy foods?

Erm...

No, I do not do well with spicy.

[Sweet delicate Alphinaud's cat tongue...]

I suppose it's not for everyone. Well! Good to know; I'll be sure to warn you if I ever make anything with spice.

brandishes a knife

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